There are only two times a year when I can walk into a Whole Foods and not be immediately angered by shoppers pushing carts into me because they’re on their cell phones asking their spouses what to buy: Gala Apple season and Blood Orange season.
Oranges are my f*cking favorite. Not favorite fruit, just simply my favorite. And you can ask those who are close to me and they’ll tell you that I’m the best at picking oranges – it’s just a skill I was born with, sorry! Last week, there was a display of Cara Cara oranges – THE ORANGE SO NICE, THEY NAMED IT TWICE – which have a pinkish center and are soooo good. I knew that it was only a matter of time before the Blood Oranges came out, because you better effin’ believe I follow the seasons.
I love the taste and scent of oranges. I’m not a huge fan of orange juice, though. One time my dad told me that Gene Simmons patented the word “OJ,” so I never said it because I was afraid it would summon his presence – like saying “Beetlejuice” three times or something. Turns out it was a nasty rumor spread by Ronnie James Dio (may he rest in peace).
So, yesterday I went into Whole Foods and there was a big pile of deliciously plump Blood Oranges, and I bought four – just to test the waters, you know. I just ate one now and I feel like a new woman.
This has been me geeking out about oranges for a moment. Thank you and you’re welcome.