pancake theorem a tech/life blog

28 02.18.2013

Last week I turned 28, and I decided to make it a tradition to write a birthday post every year (not sorry!). What a hilarious thing to do, since I have a track record of failing at *something* every year. Anyone that knows me, in person or online, knows that halfway through my 28th year of living, Jimmy and I broke up after a 7.5 year relationship. It was tragic for a little bit, but it was one of those bittersweet sad-but-awesome-that-it-happened things. No disrespect to Jimmy, who I still consider a pal, but everyone knew this had to happen. Especially the cat, since Jimmy was the disciplinarian and now he can jump all over my shit without consequence.

So on to a recap of the cool parts of the last year…

I got bangs, and that’s probably why Michelle Obama did. I finally finished my Masters, and that was one of the coolest accomplishments for me ever. I went on my first real vacation with my best mate, Michelle, to Ocean City a few weeks after The Breakup™ and spent some glorious time with her in the ocean. Jefrey almost died, but now he is all better and on a prescription food diet, so he’s still stuck with me!  Not too long after Baltimore, I got to go to GHC in Baltimore and spend time with my dear Doran Family. I went to an assessment conference in Philly, which lead to new opportunities, a special new friendship, and grew my interest in academic assessment – related to my Masters software. I had all four of my wisdom teeth removed and that was as hilarious and bloody as expected. I went to Boston to play around with JavaScript, which also lead to opportunities and friendships. I trolled my family over the holidays, as I do. I got to work with Jeanne and win Best Design at Hack Jersey, which was a great opportunity to work with her face-to-face more than we ever had been able to in the past. A couple of weeks ago, I had my fake front teeth replaced with better looking permanent ones, which I hope is the final chapter in years of dental nightmares.

So, yeah, this year I wrote a lot of code, did a lot of domestic traveling, and became friends with a lot of new people. I know I’ve got a lot more exploring to do and adventures to go on, so I anticipate that my future “29″ post will be even more full of cool stuff.

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An open letter to women who are not my mom (all of you) 02.04.2013

Dear moms,

I love you all. I didn’t grow up with one, but I still appreciate what mine probably would have gone through were she alive throughout my childhood. She’d have to deal with my eye rolling, snark, mouth of a sailor, and inability to hide the disdain on my very expressive face whenever someone tries to mansplain things to me. I imagine that right about now, exactly one week before I turn 28, she’d be asking me when I plan to start a family or settle on a career or start brushing my hair regularly.

But my mom is not alive, and so no one is entitled to tell me that being a mom and wife is “much more fulfilling” than living on my own and building my career, and that I’m “missing out.” And it works the other way around: I’m not entitled to tell you that I think being without children is pretty awesome and fulfilling and I’m having so much more fun than you har har har.

In Who’s Afraid of Marie Curie, Linley Erin Hall briefly explored the concept of women being harder on younger women in science and technology than some men are. In so many words, she said it was most likely because they, themselves, had a rough time getting into their career without being discriminated against. If they had to go through the sexism and ageism to get to where they’re at, then other women should have to walk a mile in their shoes to get to the same level, right? Of course, most of us know that women are harder on other women even outside of STEM, but I never really thought about it until Hall mentioned it. Everyone who was ever irrationally hard on me when it came to my life choices were all women, and that bums me out. Call it women-on-women hate or jealousy or whatever. It’s just gross.

We’re all trying to live Our Best Life™, and that means a life not like anyone else’s. I’m not sure if I want to have kids or not, because my brain is currently preoccupied with more selfish thoughts like where do I plan to live when my lease is up this summer, what do I want to do next in my career, and should I get the white mocha latte with raspberry syrup this afternoon (yes, Jenn, you’ll be in a better mood after it).

I always welcome advice from other women who have wisdom, insight, and a different perspective on life than I have, so long as they do not tell me that I’m not living my best life when I know I am. If my mom was not given the gift of a longer life, long enough to be able to nag me about always wearing old band t-shirts with holes and drinking so much coffee, then you cannot nag me either. Not sorry!

xoxo j

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Hack Jersey was a success and the most fun I’ve had during an allergic reaction 01.30.2013

jeanne pinder, yours truly

photo by Elaine Musiwa at Hack Jersey, day one.

That’s Jeanne Pinder and I, aka Ladies Night. We won best design at this past weekend’s inaugural Hack Jersey hackathon. With a theme of using open data to tell a story about NJ, we designed and built an open-source web application that lets you discover the disparity in costs of radiology procedures (mammograms, MRIs, ultrasounds) in regional areas of New Jersey – specifically counties. Hilariously and cleverly named The Cost of Radiology in New Jersey, it won Best Design!

The best part of this weekend-long event, though, was the participation and sweeping of most of the categories by students from my Computer Science Department. Lots of great ideas and code came from all involved. See the winners and what we all made on the Hack Jersey blog!

yours truly, margie kim, allison boswell

photo by Dan Stratthaus at Hack Jersey, day two. We all just wanted to sleep forever at this point.

Some things I learned at this event:

  1. I can still code for nearly 24 hours straight when the stakes are high enough, and even in the midst of an allergic reaction to something in the building (later I found out Mikeman was there at the radio station, so it was probably his fault).
  2. DAMN is the Google Maps API complicated. I’ve used it to grab place information, but the ability to put a table of data into a map takes a bit longer than an hour to figure out, especially when you have no latitude or longitude data of your locations – what do you folks use for geocoding existing data in a MySQL table of addresses without lat/long?
  3. Coding in a social environment is inspiring and invigorating, and I’ve got to do it more often.

Besides this awesome win, I have some other super smashingly exciting code news, but I cannot announce it just yet. But it’s cool, so stay tuned and stay cool.

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Allow me to geek out about oranges for a moment… 01.10.2013

There are only two times a year when I can walk into a Whole Foods and not be immediately angered by shoppers pushing carts into me because they’re on their cell phones asking their spouses what to buy: Gala Apple season and Blood Orange season.

Oranges are my f*cking favorite. Not favorite fruit, just simply my favorite. And you can ask those who are close to me and they’ll tell you that I’m the best at picking oranges – it’s just a skill I was born with, sorry! Last week, there was a display of Cara Cara oranges – THE ORANGE SO NICE, THEY NAMED IT TWICE – which have a pinkish center and are soooo good. I knew that it was only a matter of time before the Blood Oranges came out, because you better effin’ believe I follow the seasons.

I love the taste and scent of oranges. I’m not a huge fan of orange juice, though. One time my dad told me that Gene Simmons patented the word “OJ,” so I never said it because I was afraid it would summon his presence – like saying “Beetlejuice” three times or something. Turns out it was a nasty rumor spread by Ronnie James Dio (may he rest in peace).

So, yesterday I went into Whole Foods and there was a big pile of deliciously plump Blood Oranges, and I bought four – just to test the waters, you know. I just ate one now and I feel like a new woman.

This has been me geeking out about oranges for a moment. Thank you and you’re welcome.

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I used temporary tattoos to make fun of my family this Christmas 01.08.2013

The Gathering of the Schiffers™ happens once a year around the holidays. My little sister, Kate, comes up from Florida and the two of us meet up with our dad, Jack, and little brother, Danny. Fights happen, things break, things are said, the press is called. It’s a fun time. This year was nice, though, and it was the first time in many years that I spent Christmas with them.

Of course, one can’t just show up to a Gathering without something to stir the pot, so Mikeman and I came up with the idea to create temporary tattoos making fun of them. I created the designs and then use StrayTats.com to print them out as temporary tattoos.

The first design was a Comic Sans and drop-shadow parody of Kate’s first tattoo. This one came out amazingly well.

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Kate thought it was hilarious. I sent a couple back with her to give to her girlfriend. She called last night, asking for me to mail her some more.

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After a huge family blowout fight over the telephone a few weeks ago, Danny had blocked me on Facebook after telling everyone that I was ruining the family (I was making jokes while he was trying to be serious, because that’s my coping mechanism). Mikeman came up with the “broken family” heart tattoo idea to commemorate the drama.

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My dad thought both tattoos were hilarious. Danny did too, but he refused to wear the heart. Instead, he applied the “thy will be done” one to his lower back – the same lower back which is attached to the ass that made this hole in my dad’s wall:

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The tattoos cost a little under $50 for 20, but it’s based on their sizes (“thy will be done” was a whopping 6″ x 1″). The turnaround time was great, though – Mikeman and I came up with the idea on a Wednesday night, I ordered Thursday afternoon, and they arrived Monday morning. The print quality was superb, but the tattoos come out a big sticky. To remedy that, the order came with a bunch of powdered sheets of paper to rub over the sticky parts. I had to wear my blazer without my sweater under it that day because I didn’t want the lint of the sweater to stick to the tattoo and ruin my Christmas reveal to Kate.

Overall, it was a great purchase that still gets a lot of laughs. After about 3 hours of wearing the tattoo, though, I realized that I don’t think I could ever get a tattoo which I wouldn’t be sick of after that short amount of time. I think Jack should get the broken family heart one done permanently, though.

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The reason I hate writing is because of feelings 01.07.2013

I was offered a small writing assignment, yesterday, during a committee meeting for Hack Jersey. It took some convincing (and much-appreciated praise) from Debbie Galant and others after I childishly groaned and declared that I “hate writing so hard.” After the meeting, Debbie asked me what I hated so much about writing, but I had no real acceptable (to me) answer. A couple of things did come to mind, though.

I don’t like writing opinion pieces because I’m afraid of making people feel bad about themselves.

I always thought that if I write only humor, like I do for Baristanet on occasion, then I’m less likely to make someone feel like I’m judging the way they do something. I’m especially sensitive to this because of, strangely enough, “mommy blogs.” Since I work for Barista Kids, I am regularly introduced to all the issues modern parents face, and one thing I’ve found is that many parent bloggers (not ours necessarily) like to preach their style of parenting as “the best.” I think the worst thing you can tell someone is that they’re not raising their children The Right Way™ and I think I’m too afraid of making someone feel bad about themselves – which is bizarre, since I’m obviously not a parent blogger.

Standardized tests have always told me I was really good at math, but not so hot at reading, speaking, and writing.

I grew up getting really good grades in all of the subjects, but the SAT and GRE have both told me, and basically every college, that I’m inept when it comes to anything “verbal.” Ok, I guess “inept” is harsh. I’m embarrassed for letting those tests affect my confidence, especially because I think black-and-white academic labeling is definitely a big part of why girls don’t get into STEM. By letting the same psychology affect me, it’s like I’m part of the problem and that grosses me out.

No one cares what a young woman like me has to say.

This is the hardest one to write about, because I know exactly where this idea comes from and it’s from my ex-stepmother. I grew up with her telling me that my opinions didn’t matter and that I’ll always be a child. Of course, I know this isn’t true, but then again I often find myself unworthy in a job, or even just a room, surrounded by people who are older than me and have lots of experience in their careers. Many of my friends and colleagues are accomplished writers or technologists, so why would I bother pretending I can do what they do? I don’t talk about this much, because–to bring back the first matter–I’m afraid of offending my friends and colleagues by reminding them that I’m younger than they are and that it sometimes makes me feel bad about myself.

Starting tonight, though, I’m going to try to work on these issues that I have with writing and with my self-confidence in general. I’m going to stop pretending that I can please everyone, yet still be mindful of other people’s opinions and feelings (that’s just my style). I’m also going to stop letting stupid exams and my age define me or make me feel like an impostor.

PS. If you local jerks haven’t already, sign up for Hack Jersey, which happens the weekend of January 25th!

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2013 01.02.2013

woman-computer I wish I could do a “year in review” post but the new year started already and I’m so not going down that path.

I should probably do a “new years resolution” post but I’m not ready to hold myself accountable for frivolous things I decided to wait until now to do. Wouldn’t it be ridiculous for me to say that I want to write more, drink more water, get my driver’s license, meet Cher, buy a mansion, ghostwrite the next five Babysitter’s Club books, and be adopted by a family of sharks?

What I will do is wish all of us a happy, productive, and safe 2013 – the first year since 1987 to not have two of the same number in it. I kicked mine off with a Bloody Mary, Eggs Benedict Florentine, an afternoon of code, and an evening out to see Lincoln. So far, so effing good.

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Hack Jersey – a hackathon for journalists and programmers in January 2013 12.11.2012

I’m super excited to let y’all know about the first Hack Jersey hackathon happening at Montclair State University. It’s January 25-27 (register here) and will bring journalists and programmers together to tell stories through public data based in New Jersey. Sponsored by the NJ News Commons at MSU, the event is open to students and non-students alike. We kick things off with a party, and then 24 hours of code and brilliance commence the next day.

I hope to see all of you local cool kids there!

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Roost, Stingrays, and JavaScript – a Boston travelog 12.10.2012

Last week I was in Boston – my first time to the city – for Roost, a conference on JavaScript. I must say that Boston is probably the coolest city I’ve been to yet. There was so much to explore, great food to eat, and nice people to meet. I never realized how much I would enjoy myself by traveling alone; it affords you the ability to go where you want, when you want, and to meet new people, as you’re not preoccupied with your travel mates. Continue reading →

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